Hey Coach, Watch who You're Calling Fat

     I originally posted this in October, but quickly took it down.  When I wrote this, I was quite angry, and the post was riddled with the F word.  I've calmed down since then, and have re-written it.  I feel this post has some value.  Consider it my PSA for the month of November.

     Saturday mornings are full of information; it's the hangover from the night before--not the alcohol kind either.  (Not yet, anyway.)

     Teenage girls are an interesting variation of woman-kind all on their own, but when you get multiple girls in the same room, and F5 tornado ain't gonna do much in comparison.  This morning's congregation of teens totaled three--a small wind storm that has the potential to scare the life right out of you.

     Octave levels of teenage girls can leave one deaf, I should know, I was once one of those high-pitched girls that thought I could not get my point across without shattering glass.  Apparently, this is a right of passage, because these girls are well on their way to becoming universally known for breaking the sound barrier. 

     What I gathered from this morning's version of the previous night is this:
1.) They go to school with a bi-sexual racist,
2.) So-and-so's homecoming dress is downright AWFUL, and
3.) A coach at the school has no problem calling the girls on her team FAT.

     I cannot begin to tell you the levels of confusion I am still suffering with the first topic, but what I can say for sure is that So-and-so's homecoming dress really IS awful.  I've seen a picture.

     The third topic, well, I find that a bit familiar and to tell you the truth, the incident still bothers me today.

     According to our house guests, the coach repeatedly tells "her" girls that she "will not" have fat girls on her team, and publicly chastises one girl in particular about the size of her thighs.

     If that is a form of teaching, I guess I missed that class in college.  This practice is concerning to me because being a former teenage girl, (yes, I am an expert) I know what something like this can do to a person, especially a girl.  I have seen how it has affected my own sister  throughout her life and believe that had one of our coaches used a little discretion, my sister might feel differently about herself TODAY.

     Am I going to become and activist to weigh whatever you want in high school?  NO!  But, I will tell you this:

If any person of authority ever tells my child that she should lose weight, that she's fat, OR remotely talks about the size of her thighs, I am going to turn into the LOUDEST, most DISRESPECTFUL 16 year old you've ever seen.  I gave disrespectful a nice try when I actually was 16.  Ask my coach.

     Aren't there rules about bullying?  Shouldn't ADULTS follow those same rules when it comes to children?  I understand that there are other points to this issue--winning, timing, scoring, etc.  But when you see a child has done whatever they can to maintain a 'proper' body weight, the coach might want to step back a second and recognize that this child actually showed up to practice, and that maybe there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.   Albeit a medical issue, metabolic issue, or perhaps  the child actually weighs what she is supposed to in comparison to her height.  There has to be another way to motivate.

     Motivation?  Is that what this is?  As I sat there listening to them, I became angry.  ANGRY, angry.

     During high school, my sister was singled out because she weighed more than I did, and she was singled out by a person of authority.  My sister really looked up to this person and was absolutely crushed.  We are twins, not carbon copies of each other.  We are individuals.  My sister and I are never going to weigh or have the same body type, and you know what, that's okay! 

     I am sure you are wondering if I might feel so strongly about this issue if not for my sister, and the answer is an unequivocal YES.  All girls have issues with their bodies; I myself would like to thank my boobs for finally showing up 20 years late.  It would have been nice for them to make an appearance when I was 14 when everyone else got them.  It hurts when people point out the obvious, but it hurts a heckofalot more when an adult or someone you look up to does and makes a public issue out of it. 

     I am sure there is a fine line when it comes to coaching.  All I am saying is to stay on the side that allows a girl to feel good about herself.